Today, after a long time, I received a message from you. I should be feeling happy but on the other hand, I don't at all and we end up fighting instead. After so many days of thinking, I decided to just let everything be how it is right now, I felt so much better.
When i decided to take a step to know one better, something must happen. This is life right. I do not want to feel stupid at all. I do not know how important I am to you. I cant be telling my personal story to someone who does not bother right? I though I know that person well enough, but actually I don't. Things just changed, I cant help it but to accept it. I do not want to be sad about this same old boring situation all over again. IT IS JUST NOT WORTH IT!
Furthermore, I know everything happens for a reason. I have no intentions in making everything right because I have given up of taking the lead already. Saying that I must do my part also? You just never realized that I did my part over and over again and everytime I said " hi ", no response! So why bother right?
More so, I feel a little bit light after telling that person how I feel about everything. There is no one for me to blame and I am not blaming anybody for whats happening, because at the end of the day, Its my mindset that leads me in making the right choice. Btw, its not about someone I like but this is base on my friendship with some people. Silly me for thinking that people would use me just to gain something. haha. But then, I'm growing and i'm still learning. I pray that I am walking the right path and the path and I want to walk right now is the path where God leads me. Other than that path, they can just collect dust and don't bother thinking that I would even take a step on it.
It is difficult to forget something or someone who is very important to us. I think that we don't have to forget that person, we just have to push him to someplace in our heart that it is not that important. That way, we can welcome new things and people in our life but still not abandon someone who use to be close to us and do not appreciate us at all. Sometimes, we don't have to dislike or hate that person, what I mean is always have a forgiving heart. At least I did my part as a girl who wants to be like her Daddy In Heaven. And if that person apologize, its up to us to take the risk whether to start again or move on. But then again, make the decision that is best for you and that person and don't regret it. I have made mine and there is no turning back. Have you?
Come to think about it, life is very interesting. One day, it can be the happiest day our our life and the next day can be the worst day of our life. It does not matter what comes everyday because what matters the most is we do something that will not let us regret in the future. In fact, when future comes and when I reminisce my past, I want to laugh about it and not say " I should not have done it ".
Everybody has something that they want to change in their lives, ITS NEVER TOO LATE because EVERYDAY is a brand NEW DAY ( for someone who sincerely want to change ). Goodnight! =) <3
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