A TURNOVER

     My grandma, aunty, brother and myself left for KL on Thursday evening. I am taking this opportunity to relax for the last time before my finals and also to shop for everything I need. Praise God, I got everything I need for a affordable price except for jeans. Still can't find a perfect one. I had so much fun walking and shopping with both of my aunties and also I got to escape for a while to just have some time for myself. hehe.
Unfortunately something which I dint expect happened. Somebody pick pocket my phone! For all I know, it is one of those times where my heart just fell, my hands was shaking and all that was in my mind is why must this happen how am I going to tell my dad? It happened approximately 10 minutes before we all left 1Utama.

fyi: Do not ever stop and wait at a bakery called Lavender in 1Utama unless if you just need to purchase a few buns and leave.

  Similar cases has happened for the past 2 weeks and all the phones that are stolen is expensive. How stupid that somehow the stealer steals phones instead of wallets. I guess phones worth more than wallets nowadays. Anyway, may God bless that person. What comes around, goes around. My mood just changes since and it was a Saturday night already. A day before we come back. I spend my night trying not to think about it and keep myself occupied by folding stars, talking to cousin and pray that this was all just a dream.
Unfortunately, it is not. The next day, I manage to watch Breaking Dawn with both of my cousins before leaving. The movie is awesome as ever and I am going to watch it again, that's for sure. But I tell myself that I would watch it if I think I deserve a break from studying.

    I always enjoy being in the bus for hours but not this time. Instead, I feel depressed. All I want to do at that time is just quickly reach home, unpack and just stay on my bed forever. I have not felt like this for a very long time. You know that feeling of not wanting to live anymore? I expected the next day to be a great day ( got a new S3) but no. It was until my mum founds out that my sis scratch the car. It was a turnover! It became from a good day to the worst day ever. I wont elaborate much on it as it is personal. Going to bed crying is not the feeling anybody wants to feel especially when you have a seat for a test at 8am the next day. My eyes can barely even open.

   Then I got reminded again that something greater is going to happen soon in God's time. I just have to surrender to God everything and He is going to take care of it. It reminds me of a story. In a boys life, he always can see 2 sets of footprint on the beach and one of them belongs to God but when he is going through a lowest point of his life, he only can see one set of footprint and he thought that God was not there when he needed Him the most until he realized that it is because God was carrying him. and there i was, going through another turnover which is believing that God was carrying me. I knew I was home. I know I can turn to someone. I know He is the one. I knew God is not like anybody else. I knew that God is crying with me through the night and today I felt so much better.

    I manage to wake up and sit for my test, had a good laugh with friends during stats class while doing questions and I am happy that my dad is home. Eventhough things are not in the right place now, but I know it will eventually be. I just have to ask for an extra supernatural strength from God and patience and continue to have faith in Him. Afterall, nothing is impossible for God. =)

I want to end this post with a song from Mandisa. I heard it for the first time in the bus on my way to KL and its beautiful. It is for all of God's children out there who thinks that crying makes a situation worst, but truth of be told, It is not. It makes us think better. God does not want us to act strong in front of Him. It is when we are at the lowest point of our lives, it is when we are desperately in need of someone, He will reveal himself to us and He will fill our hearts with his love, joy and strength. If we open our heart and welcome Him in to our lives.

 

Why you gotta act so strong?
Go ahead and take off your brave face
Why you telling me that nothing's wrong
It's obvious your not in a good place
Who's telling you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings
Get past the corner of your eye

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry

I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verses by memory
Yeah they're good but life is hard
And days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
Name your fears and doubts
Don't stuff your shame and sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright

Just cry
Just cry

It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redeeming everything.

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
But tonight it's alright

Just cry

Why you gotta act so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face